Extreme Sports

We have invented a new sport! Possibly exclusively for those who have a cross bed on their boat! If you watched Cranford on the Beeb you may remember Miss Mattie's bedtime routine with a ball to check that there was no one hiding under the bed.

To join in our Miss Mattie inspired sport you will need a cross bed with space under it, a wooden or laminate floor, a pair of slippers and a desire to get over the bed when it is down for sleeping!

Here are some examples of the type of equipment required.

Cross bed stowed during the day.



Cross bed down for sleeping.



Suitable types of slippers include these blue ones. Please note, however that the colour is not a requirement for success.


Here are the instructions for the sport in steps!! They include a Health and Safety warning.

Please note - Individuals taking part do so at their own risk. We do not take responsibility for any injuries received by any persons during the duration of practice or play, regardless of age, gender, religion, sexual orientation or ethnic origin.

To Play:
Step 1. Make sure you are wearing your slippers
Step 2. Make sure no one is standing the other side of the bed
Step 3. Make sure that you are far enough away from the bed to prevent you hurting your leg
Step 4. Aim one leg and foot in the correct direction towards the other side of the bed
Step 5. Bring your leg backwards and flick it forward with enough force to send your slipper flying under the bed
Step 6. Repeat steps 2 - 5 with the other leg
Step 6. Climb over the bed
Step 7. Put your slippers back on

Warning - if your slippers are not the other side of the bed you will have to crawl under to get them and may hurt your back. We remind you of the previous Health and Safety Warning.

Absence of one or more slippers mean that you do not have sufficient skill to win and need to practice until you do. If you still are losing it may be that you have the wrong equipment and need to buy the correct type of slippers, bed or flooring.

This sport can also be played on land, however you may need to use your imagination to pretend that there is not another way to get round the bed.